I talked some big talk at the start of the year about my new year’s resolution being to focus on dating and oooh it’s been a journey so far. Spoiler Alert – I’m still as single as ever. In fact, I recently saw a post which I found both hilarious and triggering in its accuracy:
I reposted it in my Stories, only for some internet twat to slide in my DMs to say “maybe you choose to be single”. Had me spitting fire, ready to explode. Once I calmed down, I figured I would do an update on how things have been going on the dating front. So here goes.
The first 4 months of this year I was app free and went OUT. I was in these streets! I partied HARD in Copenhagen despite the cold but never met anyone. There is no event I didn’t go for (apparently “no” cannot be in your vocabulary when you are single and wanting to meet someone) and yet no cigar. Friends offered to set me up a grand total of FOUR times and none of those efforts came to anything. All of the potential matches were long distance and in 3 of the cases, no contact was ever made with the potential match.
By the end of April, I had to admit defeat. Not a single date despite all my efforts. What a disappointment. So I went back on the dating apps to all the familiar nonsense that comes with them. Being ghosted. Getting breadcrumbed. Dates set and then cancelled right before. Finding out my date had cancelled because they unmatched me. Talking for ages with someone only to meet and find out their photos were not from the last decade. Or simply just not having any connection with the person on the other side. Ugh. I did go on a couple of interesting dates though – I’m pretty sure I met a CIA agent so if I go missing, you know what happened. Just as I was getting to the point of deleting the apps and just being like “f@!k it”, I met someone.
For the first time in ages, I met someone I liked. Really liked actually. And everything was going swimmingly. I met his friends. We did a mini getaway. We always seemed to have a lot of fun together. Or at least that was how it was for me. We even started a Netflix series together – I mean that’s when you know you’re official right? For two months, things were not perfect, but at the same time, pretty amazing. Until suddenly they were not. Something innocuous happened and it was like a light switch. It was completely out of the blue and the most ridiculous thing really but now I realise it could have been anything. Things changed completely and it became clear that we had just been playing at dating. Maybe we liked the idea of each other. Maybe it was never meant to be something serious…on his part. After a week of silence followed by a week of papering over the cracks, we were done. I was crushed. I called my bestie in London and wailed on the phone. The day after the “breakup”, I had to do a 6 hr round trip on the train and was quarter to crying every ten minutes. It was excruciating. A cute guy had the guts to smile at me on the Metro and I wanted to drop kick him in his head.
The disappointment was really overwhelming. I had told people about this guy. I felt that I really put myself out there for the first time in a long time. And I really tried to make it work. But eventually I realised I can’t force someone to be with me. Funnily enough, the main concern I had right from the beginning ended up being the reason we ended things. Am I still sad? A little. I liked the guy, still do. Am I heartbroken? No, just disappointed. Am I sorry it didn’t work out? Looking back now, no because I’m happy it was only two months in when everything imploded as opposed to two years. Am I back in the streets? Kind of. I’m back to dating but for the moment just healing and enjoying going on dates and the other person’s company. Nothing serious…yet. As for finding the right person and settling down? I want to and the search continues…albeit after a short recovery pause.
So for the digital d*$£head that said maybe I choose to be single – go suck your mum and mind your business. Sidenote – Let’s all try to be a bit more sensitive with our single friends and not just make assumptions. And if you don’t know the person (and FYI following someone on social media does not equate to knowing a person!), drop a LOL and keep it moving.
P.S. To those who received some strange emails from me in July, my apologies, the site was hacked. It’s all been sorted now and the posts have been deleted, so back to normal scheduling!
